You Can't Take a Picture of This It's Already Gone

I Speak German

2006-11-09T03:10:00.000-08:00

Germany is freaking awesome, see other blog for more details. Germany is the bestest, most beautiful place ever (besides Canada). Y'all should come. I am also learning German, check it out:

Meine freunden Emma ist klein.

That means "my girlfriend Emma is small".

More updates later, see you mawfks soon
xoxo love Heather

YIKES!

2006-11-03T15:00:00.000-08:00

This is me leaning over the edge of the cliff. Below is a bird's eye view of the waves beneath me.

Fairy Tale

2006-11-03T10:52:00.000-08:00

Yay, I will be home in less than three weeks after trips to Germany and Paris. I should probably feel disapointed in myself but really I am so excited to be comming home. It's so fucked. I probably could stick it out and a lot of people have suggested that I try to stay as long as a can just for the experience, but I just don't want to. It's strange that it doesn't even feel like giving up. Part of me feels like deep down it was never my plan to stay here for the full year. The most interesting and friendly people I have met have been tourists and fellow travellers at the hostels. They are so much easier to talk to because they're having a similar experience. The most recent trip Emma and I went on was to Innish Mor, a small island with a population of 800. We stayed in the dingyest hostel ever and the wind was cold and bitter and carried a mist of rain that you could barely feel but that would soak your clothes within half an hour and you would be as wet as if you had just jumped into the sea. And the wind lashed right through any amount of clothing we could wear. Emma and I went to the famous Aran knitwear store and bought matching toques with pompoms. Mine is powder blue and hers is forest green. They have a fleece lining. And since the showers at our hostel were disgusting we wore the matching toques for three days straight to hide our greaselocks. We wore the hats to breakfast and in the guest kitchen at night and all around the island during the day. There was a really cute German couple about our age staying at our hostel who always ended up in the guest kitchen at the same time as us every night. They were very friendly and were both beautiful and were clearly in love with each other. All of the places and archeaological sites that Emma and I visited on the island we would run into the German couple and we would all laugh in recognition of one another and wave. The night bus home after the ferry was well heated and everyone was warm and sleepy and cuddling one another. Emma said we were on the Cuddle Express. The cute German couple sat behind us on the bus and the boy read the girl a really weird story that sounded like a fairy tale. He was reading it in English with a very thick accent and she had her head on his shoulder. It was sweet. We saw them on the high cliffs where we hiked to. We crept up to the very edge of the cliffs on our bellies and leaned our heads over the edge. It was scary. The cliffs were high and we could see the sea heaving itself against the rocks below us. The waves crashed against the rocks with suck force that it sounded like thunder all around us. It was very peaceful though. We have pictures of one another leaning over the edge and also of the view below. I will try to have those posted tomorrow. See you all soon.
XOXO

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

2006-10-22T05:24:00.000-07:00

I'm looking for lots of input everyone. Emma and I have been really miserable in Ireland so far. Touring around has been amazing and beautiful but we don't really like living here. We are considering coming back to Canada from mid-November to begining of April, then go back to Ireland and work as live-in hostel workers somewhere beautiful. We made a pros and cons list of staying in Ireland.

Cons for staying in ireland: no jobs, no money, roommates can be rude/hostile, we are extremely bored and lonely when we're not touring, there's nothing much to do in offseason and lots of things we like stop runing oct 31, we have no plans for xmas, we might have come for wrong reasons, touring is fun but living here really sucks we should have just spent money on vacation then lived in canada. right now we are poor but if we decide to come back to canada we can blow the last of our money on seeing more of the countryside then going to germany and scotland, if we go to canada we can see our wonderful friends again.

Pros for staying in ireland: We might be able to see some other countries over the winter, we might not be able to live in waterloo when we get back because we might not find a place to live and we will have to live with our parents, we will feel like chumps if we come home because everyone expected us to go for a year and our family gave us parties and it might be cowardly to come home, things might start getting better soon, its impossible to tell

Right now we are leaning towards comming home for a couple of months then comming back to ireland to find jobs in tourist season.

Please comment.

"I Need You So Much Closer"

2006-10-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

(This post is partly in response to Anne Marie's wonderful email):

Emma and I have been having a lot of fun in Ireland and are not necessarily lonely. There are a lot of fun people around for us to play with, and yes, the scenery is beautiful. But every time I catch a glimpse of my old life in shitty old Waterloo, Ontario, Canada I get a painful longing to be home. The other day I saw a picture of a bunch of us hanging out together at Ethels on the patio and I could TASTE the nachos and Rickard's Red (they don't have beer like that here and NO ONE eats nachos, they think its weird, it's even hard to find the proper ingredients to make them). And everyone in the picture was clearly acting like a drunk asshole and I all the people I really miss (you know who you are) are awesome amazing people bursting with personality, and who are totally original and weird and irreplacable. The people I have met here are cool, but they don't say "dykedykedyke" and they don't think it's hillarious when I talk like J-Roc, and they don't love karaoke or Halloween or Oktoberfest and they don't go out for breakfast because everything's so expensive, there are no cute little places like Angie's or Ethel's. And the leaves don't turn colours and there's no snow so they can't toboggin.

And I really miss going out for a walk in the town and running into people I know and talk to, and seeing beautiful familiar faces at every turn. I can't even same or remember some of people I miss, they were just cool interesting people for me to talk to who were always around town.

So if you are reading this, I miss you a lot and I miss our shared past and you better write me emails because we are going to be friends FOREVER *(said in threatening voice with waging finger)* and I will track you down and make you hang out with me wherever you are.

dykedykedyke

2006-10-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many people read this blog or if I've told this storey already, so stop me if you've heard this one:

Emma and I moved into our new house because the people seemed really cool and prolly would be open-minded to the two of us being a couple. So the first night we moved in, our new roommates tooks us out for drinks and the two girls told us that they love each other and they are DYKES. And so me and Emma told them that we are also a couple and they were all like "yeah we figured". It was awesome. And they also told us that nobody in Ireland says "awesome". How awkward, but neither of us can break the habbit and they always laugh at us when we say that. It's a really lame thing to say over here.

I Have Found My New Calling in Life

2006-10-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday me and Flemma went on an awesome daytrip with one of our roommates, Declan, to Connemara. I saw the most beautiful mountains and waterfalls and rocky beaches I have ever seen in my whole life. And all that beautiful nature is on the grounds of this giant abbey called Kylemore Abbey. So Emma and I have decided to become nuns. It sounds like a pretty sweet set-up. All they do is make crafts all day to sell in the craft shop attached to the abbey, and then go hiking and swimming around the grounds, which are MASSIVE. The mountains around this place are stunning. They are misty and rocky and there are little narrow waterfalls all through the mountain and running through the trees near the walkway. And there are woolly sheeps wandering around. And there are the greenest trees of paradise and a lake out front that is massive and stormy and wavy in the windy rainy climate. Also, the nuns get to run classes for little kids, and they never have to talk to guys ever and they probably have secret dykey rendez-vous in the mountains and lush greenery. There's no question in my mind that there is a lot of lesbo love going on between nuns and has been since the dawn of time. The other awesome thing the nuns do is make their own wine. They pretty much have my dream life. I took the most amazingly beautiful photos yesterday, but I can't post them until our freaking internet is working again :(

Big Ol' Canadian Shits

2006-09-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

Emma and I moved into our new house, and after having lived in hostels for two weeks, we were happy to have a place to rest our bums after having to do the squat and hover for so long. Irish toilets are very dainty and can't handle our hardy Canadian shits. We each plugged the toilet successively within an hour of moving into the house. Emma's was particularily resiliant. It took an impressive five flushes to conquer it. We looked all over but the house doesn't seem to own a plunger. And as brand new roommates we COULD NOT ask for one. Emma stood there flushing and flushing....hoping that no one noticed.

There's No Place Like Home

2006-09-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

Ireland is kinda fun, but really it's just very green and pretty but Galway is just another city. Most of the time I just close my eyes and wish really hard that I could click my heels together three times and be back at 11 Spring St. the way it used to be. Only in my head Rocket and Radar would be there too. Emma is flipping out because she has no kitties to play with right now. I get very homesick and miss people a lot. I'm sure that will pass, and a lot of the time I have fun, but it's just not the same. Emma says I am being a sucky baby.

The buses here have really funny rear view mirrors. This is what they look like:

This is Emma doing an impression of that the bus looks like to her:

Good Ol' 11 Spring

2006-09-21T06:04:00.000-07:00

The other day I was walking along the beach with Emma and there were a shit-ton of crows and Emma said that some of them were crows and some were ravens. She knew the difference in the shapes of their beaks because she has seen it on an A&E special. We looked at each other and started laughing and we both knew that she prolly was watching some lame tv show on animals because Erin had turned on that channel (probably changing the channel with her big toe). Then we were sad because we miss 11 Spring.

This is how cute I look in my new hat:

2006-09-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

So cute. Better recognize.

The "Gay Scene"

2006-09-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

Acting straight in public takes it's tole. So far Emma and I have pretended in public to be straight to avoid being fucked-with. We did, however, try to check out some gay bars in Ireland. In Dublin, one of the bars, "Out on the Liffey" sounded promising, as it was advertised in our guidebooks and on the internet a popular gay spot. When we got to Dublin, however, we read that it was mostly for men and it was similar to a sauna where the guys would take off their clothes and sweat together in a steam room. Nice. We didnt go there.

We tried another place in Dublin that was supposed to be really trendy but it was LAMO. It was a million times worse than the Ren in Waterloo. It played the same shitty music but there was no dancing and everyone seemed to be on first dates. The inside of the bar looked like the Starlight but it was really awkward for some reason and no one would dare cuddle and even though it was supposedly a gay haven we felt uncomfortable snuggling.

We made a sad pathetic attempt at trying to find the gay scene in Galway, but the only place that was supposedly for women instead of dirty old men was called Stranos. It was advertised as being run by a pair of dykes. When we got there it was full of dudes. Dirty, old, awkward, middle-aged dudes. Sick. And awkward.

It sucks that the gay scene always means some shitty house music and awkward people desperate for a shag who find it ok to take their clothes off at the end of the night...just like shitty old Ren in Waterloo. Acting straight isn't as easy as just not making out in public. We have to avoid any contact that is "telling", we can't hold hands when we're stressed, we don't have a room of our own where we can snuggle and we can't even talk to each other in the same way. We have to censor the way we interact with each other. Acting straight is exactly like *being* straight. It's like being single and alone, like we're not together at all.

Tonight Emma and I just got back from a pub where we were drinking and some drunk asshole, who was around 33, and said that he still lived with his mother, started talking to us. He seemed harmless enough...he was being ridiculous and thought Canada was awesome and we were having a laugh. But he noticed my claddagh ring and said "hey, I noticed your claddagh ring is on your married finger and it's pointed out...does that mean you're with her" and he pointed to Emma. And I said "yeah". And he was like "Oh" not really believing me, and asked "do you know about the claddagh?" and I said "yeah it means my heart is taken and I'm sitting here with her and we're from Canada...you do the math" thinking that that would make him leave us alone. But that just made him harrass us even more. This was after he pointed to a guy beside us who looked vaguely French and said "See that guy over there? He must be French, he looks like a faggot". And Emma and I were like "Uh, not cool, consider who you're talking to, Canada is full of French people and faggots". So he walked away for a while but then he came back to harrass us about my claddagh ring. So we left the bar, disgusted with that fucker and he followed us outside while we were lighting cigarettes in the alley and kept harrassing us. Then he buggered off for a couple of minutes and came back to let us know that he could punch us in the twat if he wanted to...

So we had to leave the bar. But not before Emma said "Say hi to your mom for me". That ALMOST made the whole thing worth while.

Anyways, Canada rules. Theres a lot to be said for a country where homos can make-out and be sloppy sluts in bars and not get punched in the twat (or the cock) for it.

Emma is a Jerk

2006-09-16T02:29:00.000-07:00

Emma and I have been in hostels up until now. We don't get regular showers and our arses hadn't touched a toilet seat since Canada. Today I told Emma that her hair was greasy. She said "Uh, whatever, you're the one with greaselocks." What a jerk. I think it's important that everyone knows that when we were at the National Musium Emma fell down the stairs. She tripped on the top stair, then stumbled down the rest. Also interesting is that she bumped her head twice on two different occasions on the luggage shelf at the last hostel we were in. Also, she just flipped backwards off the bed in a laughing fit while I was typing this. How embarrassing.

Acting Straight in Dublin

2006-09-13T13:26:00.000-07:00

So far what stands out most in my mind is walking through St. Steven’s Green with Emma while eating our lunch. While we were eating some guy was STAIRING at us, but it seemed normal, every city has its weirdos. But when we were taking pictures of each other with the scenery in the background, the guy watched us intently and then took his dirty cock RIGHT OUT OF HIS PANTS and started massaging it. Emma saw real live cock. It was lovely. It took Emma a couple blocks of walking to get over the initial shock. Other than that, Dublin seems to be a city just like any other city. It’s dirty and crowded, some people are rude and everything is overpriced.

So far we are having a blast. There is so much to see. It seems so far though that our sense of humor might be more vulgar than those around us. I don’t know if that’s a Canadian thing or just that me and Emma are really immature, but things that are hilarious to us aren’t that great in Dublin. Soon we will be moving to Galway. It’s a city about the size of Waterloo. Today in the lounge at our hostel we were making a blog post on our other blog and I really wanted to watch the episode of Trailer Park Boys in season five where the bottle kids through bottles at Mr. Lahey, Randy and Phil, that guy with the friggin huge gut. Lehey and Randy duck behind the car but Phil gets whacked right in the gut with a bottle and the force of the hit knocks out a massive, loud, long belch with his tongue sticking out. I had the volume tuned down REALLY LOW. But apparently the sound of the belch caused people at the table behind me to turn around and look. I had my back to them but Emma said they didn’t really look that impressed. And of course, I had to rewind and watch the belch again. And they were still looking. That’s when Emma told me. I turned around and they guy was saying to the girl beside him “what show is that?” It was pretty hilarious.

Emma and I are DYING to kiss. I don’t think that’s an ok thing to do here though. We looked on the street for mullet dykes but didn’t see any. It wasn’t very encouraging. We are acting straight for the time being, but its really stressful. This weekend we will be staying in a B&B in our own room. That will be awesome. For now, we are prolly going to makeout in the bathroom upstairs after I finish typing this. Which is disgusting in a hostel. Being in airports and pubs and hostels for three days has developed my squat and hover muscles, and now I have even learned to shit in the squat and hover position.

Too much information.

This is me and my blankie:

2006-08-17T11:07:00.000-07:00

Yes, I still sleep with my blankie, she is pretty and nice and softie.